Two Thousand and Ten

Merry January and a happy 2010. How are we saying it, is it two thousand and ten, or twenty ten? There's a popular saying that goes "Start the year as you mean to go on." If you took that literally, you'd spend the next 365 days drunk and forever counting backwards from ten, which simply wouldn't do, would it? I entered 2010 completely sober and with a clear head, which is exactly how I "mean to go on."

Currently on my desk are two mugs, one a Dalek mug that a few hours ago had Coffee in it and the other a generic cream supermarket brand one that was the vessel for tonight's Hot Chocolate. Right this minute neither of them are fulfilling their purpose of holding liquid. I can't help but think of the Glass Half Empty or Half Full argument. I'm a naturally pessimistic person. I constantly dwell on the bad things in life, that's just me. My default emotion is cataclysmic life altering end of the world style disaster. I fall not so gracefully from one incident to the other. So it's not hard for me to see why I'm just so bloody moody all of the time. Recently, however I've been feeling fine. I think the word I'm looking for is contented. My Glass is both half full and half empty, I can see how things could go either way but right now I just feel neutral about every situation. I know that whatever the current amount of liquid In my glass is, and from whichever perspective I look at it, I'm just glad that I'm able to drink.

I do not care about myself. There's a short little statement for you, it's a fact. I literally couldn't care less about myself. I spend most of my life worrying about you, worrying about how you feel and worrying about what's going on in your life. That's not aimed at one specific individual its aimed at everyone that follows, watches or reads my things. Everyone. I have no sense of self preservation, I'd gladly jump in front of a speeding train if it meant saving you from breaking a nail. If you massacre my whole family I'd be more worried about you getting cramp in your elbow from all the stabbing action than myself. A few of you have experienced first-hand just how much I worry about others and not myself, to the point that I'm putting myself in danger. Not physical danger, but mental danger is just as bad. I like caring, and being compassionate but I just can't go on doing it if it means I have to compromise my own emotions. The number one priority in your life shouldn't be anyone but you and so the number one priority in my life will now be me. If I choose to help you, or offer advice. It's because I want to, not because I'm driven by some overwhelming urge to fix the whole bloody world.

2010 is about me.

Grafitti

Grafitti
Originally uploaded by Sam Winn

Fungus

Fungus
Originally uploaded by Sam Winn

Hollow Trunk

Hollow Trunk
Originally uploaded by Sam Winn

Burnt Tree

Burnt Tree
Originally uploaded by Sam Winn